Maybe you have found yourself being defensive over what others have said? Do you respond to comments and take it upon yourself to prove that you're right?
This plan only ever causes us to be feel vulnerable, insecure and small. It's an experience which will inevitably lead us either to binge or restrict our intake of food. In either case, we lose when we cannot overcome emotional eating.
Let's take time to explore what triggers these eating disorders for you by examining your behaviour pattern.
Be aware of when:
1. You are feeling like you happen to be put on the defensive (you're being attacked or judged by others).
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2. You're suddenly anxious or feeling insecure with someone.
3. You are feeling enjoy having to have the "right" answer on the fly.
4. You hear yourself explaining your reasons for certain choices, actions or beliefs in a tone other than peaceful and chill.
5. You hear yourself justifying your behaviour; arguing regarding your rightness; as opposed to just acknowledging this didn't work for the other person or that you dropped the ball, forgot, or chose to not follow-through.
When you notice these indicators of defensiveness and excuse making, start by stop talking, even if you're in mid-sentence. Remove yourself from the problem as soon as possible.
Then take a seat with you pen and paper or lap top/ipad/etc. and ask yourself the following questions:
1. What are you telling yourself about yourself vs. that person/situation? Exactly what do they've or realize that you don't?
2. Can there be a real right along with a wrong? They might think so, but do you have to accept them? Can't you both be right?
3. Exactly what do you will know led you to think or behave as you probably did? What do they believe or realize that led them to judge that or think and behave as they did? What was their part inside it and just what was yours? Could you own your behalf if you don't take all the responsibility? Are you able to simply say, "You know, I was thinking about X and that i can easily see what you mean...." And let go of whether they own their bit or otherwise. You know your part continues to be taken care of; you probably did the adult thing; and also you realize that it had not been whatever you, that your perspective had validity too.
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4. Defensiveness signifies that you're feeling anxious since you believe you need that person's approval and also you believe that you aren't setting it up or otherwise getting it. Can you let go of needing their agreement or approval in order to be able to see the truth in your perspective? If they never ever saw "it" the right path, would you be right in your actions based on your perspective at that time?
5. Defensiveness implies that you've given yourself just two options - the right path or their way. Explore how you could make room for. What truth can you find in their perspective? What truth are you able to get in yours?
6. What solution could you come to that meets the requirements of all parties? Never accept something that doesn't meet your needs. If you can't find a solution that meets your requirements as well as theirs in some way, your responsibility would be to yourself first and also the two of you are going to have to accept look after your personal needs in cases like this. (This is exceptionally rare! Maybe one situation in 100.)
Take a look at answers and explore your ideas in reaction to some situation that triggered some insecurity or defensiveness for you.
Remember, your use of food to deal as well as your body image stress are inextricably linked to the way you are planning in these or the same situation. The more you realize what triggers your eating disorders, the less you will need to participate in restriction (dieting, anorexia), binging (overeating) or purging. You can learn to recover from your eating disorder.
